Interrupting Patterns: Why Discomfort is Your Ally

Two weeks ago I supported a group of 18 leaders through a deeply personal, highly charged experience that was a far departure from how this group normally convenes., We visited Montgomery and Selma, Alabama to examine the US ugly history and explore how these roots inform our current state. From the Equal Justice Initiative’s masterful museum, to traversing the Edmund Pettus Bridge,(the site of “Bloody Sunday”, solemnly walking through a freshly flag- adorned Confederate Cemetery, to eating amazing southern food in a storied home; each activity upended and  interrupted how this group normally meets. 

Members of the group come from varied backgrounds. Some trace their lineage to pre-Civil War history; others had more modern ancestors who perpetuated institutions of racism. Some members had direct encounters with contemporary hate groups, while some were associated with institutions founded by notable racists and benefactors of the slave trade. 

Throughout the experience, many truths were told. Some attendees left the experience even more angry, some left more empowered. The range of reactions spanned from rage to empowerment, yet all were unified in their quest for embodied knowledge and change. The results were life-changing at the personal level, and will undoubtedly ripple out into their lives.

The week spent learning more about our historical truths and roots of racism was powerful, but very uncomfortable.Gloria Steinem once said, "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." Seeking comfort rather than discomfort is a human instinct. In fact, many of our systems, from corporate hierarchies, to political institutions, to philanthropic strategies, are designed to maintain the status quo. However, the truism that "agitation creates pearls" isn't just a poetic metaphor; it's a fundamental principle that has applications in both individual and collective growth.

Comfort: The Culprit of Stagnation

Comfort is often the culprit of stagnation, especially in risk-adverse spaces, such as the philanthropic and non-profit sectors where a significant impact is vital. As leaders in these spaces, we commit to driving meaningful change, yet  that cannot be achieved by resting on the laurels of  yesterday’s accomplishments. How do we break through the thickening comfort layers that suppress innovation? By inviting calculated disruptions into our established patterns of doing and being.

Although the notion that discomfort is a key ingredient for learning is not new, it remains underutilized. Yet, struggling through discomfort enables us to critically examine ingrained habits, question traditions, and discover untapped potential.

The Collective Unconscious of Teams

Most of my work occurs in the context of “teams” - groups of individuals charged with a shared purpose. On any given team, there's a collective unconscious at work—an unspoken agreement to follow established rules and norms. Breaking these ingrained patterns is the first step towards unlocking new possibilities.

The challenge for today’s leaders is to design environments where such interruptions become a part of our organizational DNA. The point isn't to become agents of chaos, rather architects of interruptions, introspection and reflection. Carefully designed spaces that invite people to interrupt their conditioning are where creativity blooms, and innovative solutions emerge almost magically.

This experience has me asking how and where we can convene in ways that disrupt the status quo. I believe it starts with increasing our capacity to stay curious, lean into risk-taking, and celebrating failure as the learnings they bring. 

How might this look on your team? 

  • Reward risk-taking, regardless of the outcome.

  • Celebrate failures publicly, without blame but highlighting the key takeaways.

  • Carve out time to reflect on how the work gets done.

  • Dedicate time to being together in new and unexpected spaces/places.

  • Enact creative restraints (e.g. “No declarative statements in this meeting, only open ended questions,” or place rigid time constraints on problem solving/ideation sessions).

  • Temporarily rotate leadership roles or responsibilities. This can help team members see the project from a different angle and inspire new ways of thinking.

  • Occasionally mix team members from different departments or projects to brainstorm ideas. Fresh perspectives can break entrenched patterns and stimulate new thought.

  • Have team members teach each other something new during designated "skill swap" sessions. This encourages a culture of continuous learning and growth.

  • Encourage the team to think about how to create problems instead of solving them. This can often highlight unseen solutions.

  • Create a space where seemingly 'crazy' or 'out there' ideas can be shared without judgment.

While I write this, a beautiful paradox is being balanced - when we actively seek discomfort, we become more adaptable, and in many ways, more comfortable with the challenges of a rapidly evolving world. The more accustomed we normalize interruptions, the more resilient we become to disruption.

Destruction and disruption might as well be the theme of the 2020s. Let’s embrace this so we can aikido the disruptions, and interruptions, to construct anew.  The landscape of potentialities is vast, but we must be willing to trudge through the discomfort to get there. 

As philanthropic and nonprofit leaders, we are committed to  living our purpose, and driving societal impact. We have chosen to tackle major issues, lean into polarizing causes, and support the marginalized. Agitation is part and parcel of our passions and professions. Our lives aren’t like boxes of chocolates, rather fields of oysters. When we keep the agitation outside, we remain comfortable, yet lack the disturbance needed to alchemize our potential powers (e.g. pearls). When we allow the sand in, we end up with pearls..

My point? Don’t just embrace and accept the challenges, invite them in. Find healthy and measured ways to create disruptions in how you and your team works to ensure malaise doesn’t turn your potential for pearls into a perpetuation of existing patterns.